Tips to getting it in: A guide for making sex a little more comfortable.
The first time you sleep with a new partner it can be painfully awful. It may even lead you to think that there is no spark, or that you've done something wrong. It just may be that you're in your twenties and you now know what you want in bed, but don't know how to communicate it properly. It's nothing that can't be fixed with just some tips ;D no pun intended.
Don't fake it! Communicate.
Ladies, if you want the sex to be good...stop thinking that faking it will help. Faking an orgasm is just going to leave you unhappy and unsatisfied. Take control of the situation and let him in on what you want. This guy isn't going to read your mind and you haven't been together long enough for him to "just know" what you want. You have to tell him. Even if you think what you want is embarrassing or that he wont want the same thing. You'd be surprised the things that men & women in their twenties have already experienced in bed. Just let him in on what you want and go for it!
Don't jump into bed before you're ready: Make em wait!
I'll set the scene...you're on a date, have had a few cocktails, and are beginning to like the idea of this person. With a couple of drinks in you, you can now talk openly with him/her and the physical attraction is clearly there. If you are smart you will slow your drinking pace, continue the great conversation, and leave him at the end of the night with a kiss.
That sometimes...doesn't happen. We get so "caught in the moment" that we decide to sleep together in this buzzed up drunk on you state. Most of the time this will lead to a couple of outcomes....either the girl will fall madly in love and scare the guy away or vise versa...or usually you realize that the uncomfortable walk of shame you just experienced probably will be the last.
Sometimes there is an exception if the two are somewhat miraculously open to this kind of thing. In that case all power to you, but for the most part this kind of sex is AWKWARD.
Embrace your body: You're beautiful
It's never easy to get into the moment with someone that can't embrace their own body. If this person wasn't turned on by you they wouldn't be sleeping with you. So take it off! Don't be shy or leave your shirt on. Trust me, that will not help the sex to be any more comfortable, but will probably do just the opposite. So what you have a pooch or aren't as fit as most...at this moment it's not about that! So stop being self-conscious and embrace yourself, because you're beautiful and your partner knows it!
If you're not interested, don't do it! : Pity sex=disaster.
Don't force yourself to be with someone...EVER. I don't care if they just spent $500 on you or if they are extremely pathetic. It wont be good for anyone! Sex can be awkward that first time anyways....so if you're not interested or it's one sided...then it's just plain sad. Don't have sex with someone because your friends are pressuring you to. Just do you. Be you. If you don't want to have sex or aren't sexually attracted to someone...what good will it do for you to sleep with them? You probably wont talk to them the next day anyways and they sure as hell aren't going to father your children. Say goodnight and go home to your bed. Watch some stupid romantic comedy and think about the next guy. It's just not worth it.
The best sex is with someone your comfortable with.
So if you're going to have sex with someone that isn't your boyfriend, choose someone that you feel comfortable with. That you can talk to and aren't afraid to tell them what you truly want in bed. Try to not make it someone that you can't afford to lose, because as comfortable as you are with having a casual sexual relationship...some may not be. He may have real feelings for you that lead to some awkward sex breakup...or something of the sort.
Not all of us have found our soul-mates though....
Don't jump into bed before you're ready: Make em wait!
I'll set the scene...you're on a date, have had a few cocktails, and are beginning to like the idea of this person. With a couple of drinks in you, you can now talk openly with him/her and the physical attraction is clearly there. If you are smart you will slow your drinking pace, continue the great conversation, and leave him at the end of the night with a kiss.
That sometimes...doesn't happen. We get so "caught in the moment" that we decide to sleep together in this buzzed up drunk on you state. Most of the time this will lead to a couple of outcomes....either the girl will fall madly in love and scare the guy away or vise versa...or usually you realize that the uncomfortable walk of shame you just experienced probably will be the last.
Sometimes there is an exception if the two are somewhat miraculously open to this kind of thing. In that case all power to you, but for the most part this kind of sex is AWKWARD.
Embrace your body: You're beautiful
It's never easy to get into the moment with someone that can't embrace their own body. If this person wasn't turned on by you they wouldn't be sleeping with you. So take it off! Don't be shy or leave your shirt on. Trust me, that will not help the sex to be any more comfortable, but will probably do just the opposite. So what you have a pooch or aren't as fit as most...at this moment it's not about that! So stop being self-conscious and embrace yourself, because you're beautiful and your partner knows it!
Don't force yourself to be with someone...EVER. I don't care if they just spent $500 on you or if they are extremely pathetic. It wont be good for anyone! Sex can be awkward that first time anyways....so if you're not interested or it's one sided...then it's just plain sad. Don't have sex with someone because your friends are pressuring you to. Just do you. Be you. If you don't want to have sex or aren't sexually attracted to someone...what good will it do for you to sleep with them? You probably wont talk to them the next day anyways and they sure as hell aren't going to father your children. Say goodnight and go home to your bed. Watch some stupid romantic comedy and think about the next guy. It's just not worth it.
The best sex is with someone your comfortable with.
So if you're going to have sex with someone that isn't your boyfriend, choose someone that you feel comfortable with. That you can talk to and aren't afraid to tell them what you truly want in bed. Try to not make it someone that you can't afford to lose, because as comfortable as you are with having a casual sexual relationship...some may not be. He may have real feelings for you that lead to some awkward sex breakup...or something of the sort.
The true best sex...as we all know...is with someone that you truly love. Someone that you can put before yourself. This kind of sex cannot be beat. It's fiery, perfect, and most times completely on the same page. This is what I have decided to wait for myself!
Not all of us have found our soul-mates though....
xoxo
I like your writing. The first things I go to when I meet someone I like, and are at their place, is their music and movie collection, and any art or writings they've done. These are the kinds of things that assist me in painting a pretty decent picture of the person. It's not the end-all, but it's a start.
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