Broken hearts.

 

Once I had an ex of mine tell me that this was my song.

 

 

 

You may sit there and label me as a heartbreaker, but I see myself as a more of a love enthusiast. Or a romantic. I believe in true love and I believe sometimes that means trial and error. Sometimes that means a wait.

 

I might be breaking your heart today. I might be ending something great. I might be forever dooming myself to a life alone with my dog. I might regret this in a week, a month, or even a year...

 

Despite the mights I cannot help but act on feeling. If I am going to be in a relationship I am going to either give all or nothing. It is my nature to put my WHOLE heart into everything I do. I will give my heart to a stranger without question...that is who I am. I will do everything in my power to make someone smile when they are down. I also refuse to lie to anybody that I love. I refuse to let any heart linger in my fingertips. I can't. If I am not 100% yours than I am not yours at all, that's how I work.

 

I am a romantic.

 

-fanciful; impractical; unrealistic: romantic ideas.

 

....and yes that may mean that because of my unrealistic idea of love I will never find that person. If I don't though then at least I will know that I tried. I can say that I have loved before and it taught me to be a better person. I can honestly say that I never settled, and that is enough for me.

 

 

 

I'm sorry if this means I hurt you. If I have hurt you...I can tell you without question that I hurt myself in the process.

 

The problem I struggle with most is being forced not to talk after a break up. Going from talking to someone every day to completely cutting them out of my life is something I've never been able to do.

 

"Avoid the former love. Yes, avoid. No, this isn’t being immature. Seeing your former flame can bring out emotions and may cause you do to or say something you will regret. In the first few weeks the best thing you can do for yourself is not be where you know they will be."

 

Mike Hardcastle is probably right though, this is probably why my relationships always linger. I'm just not strong enough to stay away most of the time. I will be this time. I need to be, for him. I can't stand to see my ex boyfriend hurt so much.

 

There is no quick fix to a broken heart and that is something that I have learned the hard way.

 

Today I will look towards the future and let go of the past. I will leave him alone and not twist the dagger I've already placed in his heart. I will smile because what we had was fun, romantic, and exciting. I will move on alone and hope the best for the both of us.

 

This is my break up blog.

 

XOXO

Alyssa Lee